The Princess Fried

I wrote about my slight sunburn problem (if we’re being honest, my overall UV dumbassery) recently. First sun exposure of the year and I chose to sit on the beach, unprotected, for five hours. To be fair, I was in raptures at the charm of Bill and Hayley (The Food Lovers) and sort of forgot that my future comfort depended greatly on my not having third-degree burns.

By the way, coconut oil and Vitamin E oil (thanks Hayley) work miracles for a sunburn, both when used topically and taken orally.

Luckily, I got over my sunburn in time for my trip to California. So – naturally – I went right out and got myself another one.

Once again, I fancied myself impervious to the consequences of my own idiocy. My excuse: I was too busy to care, because I was watching THREE MIT post-grads spend TWO HOURS struggling to strap ONE suitcase to what appeared to be a straightforward luggage rack. This was funny, you know, because, like, I’m so street-smart and, heh heh, these nerds can, like, calculate the speed of cold fusion but they can’t tie a bag to a car.*

Never mind that there was no room for the bag in the car because I packed SIX suitcases for a nine-day trip. (So far I’ve worn two things: Jeans and a swimsuit.)

So, as I delighted at the momentary incompetence of three OFFICIALLY CERTIFIED GENIUSES (seriously) working in the blazing sun to accommodate my suitcase of spare fanny packs (they may or may not be of the Mickey Mouse variety), my broiling skin set off sprinkler systems from here to Las Vegas.

I’ve heard that the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem. So…I have a problem. It’s called I’m bloody daft.** I see now that Paleo can’t fix everything. It definitely can’t fix Stupid.

You know what makes it all better, though? Walking outside and standing under a lemon tree. A freaking LEMON TREE. Any of you California folks who aren’t happy with your lives, know this: the only stuff that grows on trees in most states are bad attitudes. Make some lemonade.

The point of all this blather? I’ve been pontificating a lot lately about the importance of Paleo-style body care. Ironically, I’ve been reading up on sunscreen. I’ve finally written up my findings opinions and put them up at Steve’s Original. Hop on over for a dose of Awesome that’s nearly as intense as the California smog sunshine.***

*This bevy of geniuses we roll with are actually excellent men, all of whom are counterparts to some of my favorite women. They worked tirelessly and devotedly to secure the safety of my Disney memorabilia, and for this I am grateful.

**It’s important to note that I’ve had the pleasure of spending the last few days around one of my favorite Amurricans and her English Love. A good portion of this time was colored by my misunderstanding of his very refined English accent. He was not calling his girlfriend a “Posh Bed;” as in – naughty! – but a Posh BIRD. Which is still cool, albeit much less kinky.

***I have actually noticed no smog; only sunshine, crisp air, and omgwhydontiliveheere??!

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11 Comments to “The Princess Fried”

  1. Very informative article over at Steve’s Original. Thanks again!

  2. Awesome. I’ve actually read a few places that coconut oil applied topically also helps prevent sunburn. I mean, not like you could sit on the equator for 6 hours with nothing but coconut oil, but for general working in the garden on Saturday afternoon stuff? I’ve tried it a few times and it seems to extend the time I can spend outside without frying.

  3. Sunburn can be scary. Glad you survived yours. I burned myself so bad once that I got a spot on my nose that wouldn’t heal for weeks. I was so scared I went to the dermatologist. I was convinced they were going to cut my nose off.

  4. I live in California! I take the fruit trees somewhat for granted, primarily because I don’t have any. You don’t live here because you value not having to spend your entire paycheck on rent.
    I also got sunburned this weekend. Totally thought I had enough base tan. Apparently I did not.

  5. ok so I just stumbled upon your blog in search of ideas for paleo meals… I gotta ask–is there a way to eat paleo without eating beef? i realise that large game is *very* paleo, but I haven’t eaten it in 8 years… should i bite the bullet and eat a cow?

    I dont eat pork either. But everything else is fair game 🙂 hah, literally.

    • Hey there! Well, I surely advocate getting some quality, grass-fed/pastured red meat in there, whether it be beef, venison, bison or lamb. It’s a great source of iron, CLA, protein and has a great balance of fatty acids. If you can stand it, I’d say go for it and try to work it in once a week! My friend Hayley of The Food Lovers ( was a no-beef, no-bacon gal for years, but changed her mind and finally had a piece of bacon…then it was on to quality red meat!

  6. i agree with Meghan about the coconut oil! but i did invest in a fancy-pants sunscreen from La Roche – Posay (it made the EWG list from your post on Steve’s Original — yay!) for an upcoming trip to CA, where I will be roasting — i mean, spectating at the CrossFit Games.

  7. We’re a month away from our Cali trip (for the Ancestral Health Symposium, no less!) … I’ve been wondering for months why we’ve gotten round trip tickets instead of one way’s. So jealous you get to be out there like 10 times this summer! You might be better off packing up the Cave Husband, and renting an apartment out there til september. He could commute to NJ in an F-16, right? 🙂

    If we aren’t all living out there by this time next year, I’ll be shocked!

  8. I grew up in California and now live in Michigan. I do miss the lemon trees and you are right about bad attitudes growing on trees. They do around here, but probably for good reasons. Nice post!

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