What I’ve Learned From Snooki.

I was haunted by something terrible all weekend.

Consider the convergence of these three factors:

One: I’m a relatively new transplant to “Jerzee,” thus the “Jerzee” pop-culture phenomenon is perversely fascinating to me;
Two: Yesterday was Halloween, which means pumpkins EVERYWHERE;
Three: The vast majority of our trick-or-treaters are likely old enough to both a) own an iPhone and b) go directly from trick-or-treating to the BYOB strip club.

Combine my Jerzaphilia, the pumpkin assault, and the glittery, cleavage-y trick-or-treaters and I could think of only one thing: Mizz Snooki “Jersey Shore” Guidette-Pumpkin-Polizzi. (I think at least two of those words are actually part of her legal name.)

I’m actually formulating alternate names as we speak. Currently I like Punki, Snookin, and Bumpkin.

(Get it?)

I know, it’s not the most productive place to park my thoughts – but when at least nine out of ten trick-or-treaters over the age of 17 (a surprising proportion of trick-or-treaters appear to be of voting age – the horror) are dressed somewhere on the Snooki – Kardashian spectrum, you just have to go with it. Plus, Pumpkins are Paleo, right?

Seriously though. You couldn’t think of 2 people who made more lemonade out of the lemons they were given than Snooki and Kim K. (that may be a bad reference…wait for it): One of them got punched in the face by a DUDE, and the other made her debut into proper society as a micturation target (yup…bad reference). Yet both have been phenomenally successful in their own right.

At this point, I’ve totally lost my train of thought. I told you all that to tell you that I wrote for Steve’s Original today – I was able to exorcise the Punki Bumpkin Snooki obsession by taking inspiration from her oh-so-profound journey. So without further word vomit, I give you:

Success (Or, What We Can Learn From Snooki)

(click to view!)


One Comment to “What I’ve Learned From Snooki.”

  1. CaveGirl, you are highly evolved!

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